Why Your Marriage Matters In A Crisis

By: Ted Harro

Our Home is Our Base Of Operation

What if your marriage is about more than just the two of you – or even your family? What if your marriage is part of a movement, even an insurgency for good?

Let me explain: At the intersection of two quiet streets a few blocks south of our town’s center, there’s a house. It’s our house. Gretchen and I bought it as a home for the two of us when we thought we weren’t able to have children. More than 20 years and two surprise sons later, we’re still living in this house.

Don’t be deceived by our home’s humble appearance. Though this house is a place for us to live and raise our family, it’s more than that. This house is our base of operation. 

Our base of operation

Your Circle Mirror’s God’s Circle

As God’s image-bearers who are creating a circle of joy and generosity that – in a very small way – reflects what’s happening in the Trinity, Gretchen and I know that our marriage is about self-giving love. Yes, for each other and our sons. But also to those around us. 

The generosity that can flow from our marriage circle matters all of the time. But maybe it matters even more when all hell breaks loose around us. That’s when a bright marriage can really shine, when the light can make even more difference than on a peaceful day.

Crisis Creates Opportunity for an Insurgency of Love

I’m writing this post in the middle of the coronavirus outbreak of 2020. I almost wrote, “at the height of the outbreak.” But let’s be honest, we’ll only know in hindsight when the height is. Right now, we’re just in the middle. 

And in that middle space, we’re seeing all kinds of reactions to the uncertainty and the unraveling of our way of life. Fear, toilet paper hoarding, shock, economic free fall, forced isolation tagged with the euphemism “social distancing.” 

This is your marriage’s time to shine…

This crisis gives your marriage all sorts of opportunities. Here’s an example: When the COVID-19 situation really blew up last week, a local pastor and his wife were inspired by one of their congregants to write a simple note and put it in their nine closest neighbors’ mailboxes. Their note said:

Hello Neighbor,

We want to respect your privacy. We also want to let you know that in this current climate, if you have any needs that we can help with, it would be our honor to serve you. We are well-stocked in food and even toilet paper:) If you should need something, please ask. 

Our church members are joining together to pray Psalm 46 for 46 days on behalf of the global and local communities. Know that our family will be praying specifically for your household during this time. 

They signed their names and gave their phone numbers as well as the location of their house in case their neighbors didn’t recognize them by name.

That got our family thinking. We plan to write a similar note for our neighbors. Instead of offering toilet paper, we’re planning to bake sourdough bread and wood-fired pizza occasionally as a way to provide human connection and joy through something we love to make. (Don’t worry, we are food safety certified, we will wear gloves, and we will be sure to arrange logistics to preserve social distance.) 

Your house is more than a home. It’s also a base of operation for your part in what Dallas Willard calls God’s “divine conspiracy” to overcome evil with good, darkness with light, and fear with hope. How might God be inviting you to make your unique mark on your neighborhood as a couple?

This week:

• Talk as a couple about how you can demonstrate the self-giving love of the Joyful Giver to those around you. What might be your unique way of expressing that self-giving love to those around you?
• As you plan and implement your unique mission, shoot a glance heavenward. Enjoy the smile of God as you imitate Him.